Today, in what is widely being hailed as a crushing defeat for America’s democratic institutions, a visibly shaken and battered Treasury Secretary Jack Lew gave in to one of the nation’s most powerful lobbies.

“The Department of Treasury would like to formally rescind previous stated plans to replace Alexander Hamilton on the $10 reserve note,” Lew nervously stuttered.

The press conference was delivered to the backdrop of the entire Original Broadway Cast of Hamilton standing with crossed arms and menacing glares.

Lin-Manuel Miranda, the creator and star of Hamilton, said the decision reversal was fortunate, and “certainly more desirable than the alternative of a duel.”

According to The National Endowment for the Arts policy analyst Andy Webber, Broadway lobbying is an erratic force for advancing both ethically-sound and questionable policies

“For every faction lobbying for something good like AIDS research in the name of Rent, there is a faction supporting lax laws for mariticide in the name of Chicago,” said Webber.

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