Newly released information from the Panama Papers leak suggests British Prime Minister David Cameron has secret, offshore pork investments in “the hundreds of billions of dollars.”
Cameron was quick to defend against the outrage, pointing out that the British people were already aware of his love of pork.
“Really, everyone knows where I stand on pork,” said Cameron while petting a micro pig. “I just didn’t think it was necessary to shove my lifestyle in everyone’s faces.”
When pressed on the necessity of investing so much in offshore pork, Cameron covered his micro pig’s ears before informing the press that everyone knows offshore pork is more exotic and desirable, and thus commands a higher price.
Cameron was left speechless after a journalist asked him why he covered his micro pigs ears if it were true that everyone already knew that.