Academy announces separate but equal Oscars

Academy Award

The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has announced separate but equal awards ceremony for non-white film artists in response to criticism that not enough people of color have received Oscar nominations.

“The Academy is proud to make this announcement,” said Academy Grand Wizard Jiminy Crowstein. “This new awards ceremony will finally give these talented artists the opportunity to win an award that will give their labors of love meaning!”

No nominees have not been announced, but critics expect several nominations for “Straight Outta Compton,” as well as a best actor nomination for Matt Damon’s performance in “The Martian.”

Outspoken filmmaker and Oscar boycott proponent Spike Lee was surprisingly unsatisfied with the compromise.

“This can’t be serious,” remarked Lee. “Is this satire or something?”

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