Academy announces separate but equal Oscars

The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has responded to recent controversy by creating a new awards ceremony for non-white film artists.

Obama vows to use N-word more often

Set your DVR, because President Obama has vowed to use the N-Word again. Obama made the announcement after appearing on Marc Maron’s WTF podcast earlier this week. “After using the N-word on the Podcast, that was all people could talk about.” Obama said. “Suddenly the TPP, job numbers, Benghazi…all gone. No one cared.” Obama expressed regret…