FCC: FOX News must rename Republican debate

FCCAccording to new rules set by the FCC, FOX News must cease referring to tomorrow’s assembly of Republican candidates as a debate.

The ruling which states “let’s be honest, even with just two candidates these events are hardly debates,” is not limited to FOX News debates.

The FCC had been sitting on the rule for years but the current field of candidates was “the straw that broke the bureaucrat’s back,” according to a source.

“We can’t afford to stand idly by while the cable news industry pretends that a forum with ten men offering up crafted soundbites irrespective of maintaining proper association with the questions that are being asked,” said FCC Chairman Tom Wheeler. “No longer can we allow the media to play loosely with the definition of ‘debate.’ Ten men pushing invective and empty promises is not what Protagoras had in mind. It’s unnatural and, quite frankly, it makes me sick.”

The FCC published a list offering guidance to the broadcasters as to what would be an appropriate name for the planned events.

Among the list of suggestions were: dedebate; blather theater; soundbite saloon;  and question and avoidance session.

At press time, a Fox News representative said they were debating between renaming the event either “Mister Real America Pageant” or “Last Comic Standing.”

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