WARNING: If you’re reading this, there’s a 50 percent chance some alt-right dipshit shared it with you without reading it.
WASHINGTON D.C.—Several factions of the KKK and neo-Nazi groups have come out in public support of Hillary Clinton.
The groups have donated a collective $2 million to her campaign, as well as executed a highly-active social media campaign in support of Clinton.
“We actually really done(sic) like her at all, which is why we(sic) supporting her,” said local Klansman Billy-Bob . “We white supremacists are well-aware that our public image ain’t(sic) the best. We decided to stop fighting and embrace it. All we gotta(sic) do is publically endorse the people we don’t like. With our support, she’ll never win!”
The Clinton campaign said they only took the money because the organizations did not properly label themselves.
“With so many organizational transitions they no longer call themselves the Ku Klux Klan or the Nazi Party; they need to differentiate themselves from the other bodies claiming to Klansmen or Nazis,” said a spokesman for the Clinton campaign. “For example, we accepted monetary donations from organizations calling themselves ‘Coup Clucks Clan and’ the ‘Not-See Party’—Okay, now that we say it out loud the name sounds a little more obvious.”
The Clinton campaign said it would really like to return the donations, but unfortunately the money has already spent on “really fancy cheese” for campaign banquets.
Rick Perry, former Governor of Texas and Republican candidate for 2016, said he is outraged that Clinton “took any money from an organization that was dishonest.”
Perry added “such blatant deceptery(sic) has no place in politics” and he only accepts donations from “honest, salt-of-the-earth racists, not deceptive racist organizations.”
Republican front-runner and comedian Donald Trump released a characteristically vicious Twitter attack against Clinton in response to the news.
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