House Republicans threaten to murder 232 puppies if Obamacare is not unfunded by midnight

In a final push to derail the Affordable Care Act, House Republicans simultaneously revealed puppies that each had smuggled into the house.


After several minutes of ominous silence and menacing stares from Republican representatives, House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio) confirmed that the puppies were a final attempt to force the Democrat’s into conceding defeat and averting a partial government shutdown.

“You guys are going to look pretty stupid if this night ends with not only a government shut down on your shoulders, but the blood of hundreds of puppies on your hands,” said Boehner. “Have you no shame?”

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