Ontario, Canada— Reports from several concerned log cabin owners and their renters have been delivered to the Canadian government concerning random appearances of giant Nate Silver statues on their property. So far there have been over 75 life-size glass and marble statues that have no explanation of origin or ownership.
“I was just minding my own business, eh, and I went outside to borrow a cup of syrup from my neighbor when I noticed this life-like master statistician in everlasting form,” remarked one canuck. “I wasn’t afraid or anything like that. The guy gives a really good TED talk.”
The Royal Canadian Mounted Police have gathered a task force consisting of one member from every territory and house of the Canadian land to make sense out of these random events.
Nate Silver released this press statement:
“I have no fucking clue what is going on, guys. “