Trump signs executive order outlawing 1992’s Wolfenstein 3D

Acting President Donald Trump has issued a new executive order preventing the sale and distribution of 1992’s Wolfenstein 3D.

“For far too long 1992’s Wolfenstein 3D has encouraged the anti-fascist thuggery,” said Trump at the public signing. “This American carnage stops right here and stops right now.

According to sources within the White House, the administration is formulating a plan that would outlaw all video games that are not a digital version of Monopoly.

At press time, teenagers across the land were airdropping into battlefields to fight each other to the death.

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