Acting President Donald Trump has issued a new executive order preventing the sale and distribution of 1992’s Wolfenstein 3D.
“For far too long 1992’s Wolfenstein 3D has encouraged the anti-fascist thuggery,” said Trump at the public signing. “This American carnage stops right here and stops right now.
According to sources within the White House, the administration is formulating a plan that would outlaw all video games that are not a digital version of Monopoly.
At press time, teenagers across the land were airdropping into battlefields to fight each other to the death.