Former Florida governor, and unintentional left-wing meme, Jeb Bush has revealed that he has joined the Democratic Socialists of America and is suffering from adult-onset teenage angst.
“We were just honestly shocked and in disbelief,” said DSA National Political Committee member Alex Birnel. “We all saw the memes and thought Jeb hated them. We never thought that he’d actually come around to left-wing politics.”
Jeb! became a darling of “leftbook” shit posters when he made the comment that he’d go back in time and kill baby Hitler.
We reached out to Jeb for comment and, surprisingly, he agreed to speak to us.
“I’ve grown up a lot these last couple years,” said Jeb! “You know after losing the Republican bid for President, seeing my former conservative colleagues not support me killing baby Hitler, I decided that I’m finally going to stick up for myself. I said fuck it, and fuck you, dad, I’m joining the DSA!”
Jeb! claims that when the Philadelphia chapter of DSA stopped him, and asked for a picture, that he felt a real sense of comradery from his future “comrades.”
He then went on to become radicalized by the leftbook memes and culture.
“I was afraid they would cancel me because of my problematic past, but I made sure to self crit,” said Jeb! “I was thrilled when I then received the blessing of those with socialist anime profile pictures.”
“Those kids man, they know what’s up. I never felt that accepted with the Republicans, or my dad for that matter, it was always about George,” said a watery-eyed Jeb! “Well fuck you dad and fuck you George! ACAB! BERNIE 2020!”
Jeb! told us he has already started organizing a local chapter in his home town and plans to attend the DSA national convention in Atlanta in hopes of meeting his new hero AOC.