More infants posing as fetus for increased benefits


A recent study published by the Center for Underprivileged Natal Transgression has shown an alarming increase in the amount of newborns, infants and toddlers that have been disguising themselves as a fetus.

According to the study’s lead researchers, three children sitting on each other’s shoulders wearing a trench coat, the reason for the recent uptick is rational.

“It’s really quite simple,” said the top child while stroking his fake mustache. “These children are posing as a fetus so they can get more government benefits. Currently in some states, a fetus has more laws protecting it than a child.”

The trend is expected to continue as the current era of former presumptive GOP presidential nominee Donald Jizz Trump unfolds.

“With federal funding for welfare and WIC programs at risk and pro-life legislation, we are going to see more and more infants with forged paperwork declaring their status as a fetus,” said the top child while struggling to keep his balance. “This will mean the government will protect them to make sure they stay alive, however once their status of ‘born’ becomes realized these protections will cede.”

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