Former GOP presidential hopeful and Donald Trump BFF Vladimir Putin has come out in strong opposition against efforts to recount election results in three states.
“The effort by Jill Stein to verify U.S. 2016 election results as accurate are disturbingly democratic,” said Putin during a press conference at Trump Tower. “This simply is not the America I fought for.”
A tearful Trump took the microphone to assure everyone that the election results should be accepted as completely legitimate despite the fact that millions of votes were cast illegally.
“These people are frauds who are just attempting to distract me from focusing on the important task of making an ass out of myself on Twitter,” said Trump before bursting into tears and repeating “I didn’t lose the popular vote by 2 million” at least 5 times before being rushed off away from the podium.