President-elect and former comedian Donald J. Trump assured American’s that he merely settled the Trump University fraud lawsuits for $25 million so he could focus his full attention on the important issues.

“If I hadn’t settled I wouldn’t have had the time to defend my sweet, innocent Pence from those nasty theater kids!” Trump tweeted.

At presstime, Trump was calling Hamilton: an American Musical creator Lin-Manuel Miranda a “fuccboi.”

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