A visible shaken NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell held an emergency press conference after a mysterious object was discovered on the field during today’s match between the New England Patriots and the Buffalo Bills.

Goodell did not go into specifics, but guaranteed fans that this would not happen again.

“We’ve never seen anything like this object, and we must take every precaution until we can determine the threat that it poses,” said Goodell.

At press time Goodell doth protest too much, methinks.

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