Zoos to consult internet polls during future emergencies

zoo

The nation’s zoos have collectively agreed to a new contingency plan for responding to emergency situations.

The decision comes following days of debate and outrage stemming from an incident in which a silverback gorilla was shot dead after a young boy fell into an exhibit.

Charles Finster of the Harvard school of Zoology and sarcasm spoke on behalf of the nation’s zootopians.

“We were arrogant to respond to the situation in such a hasty manner,” said Finster. “We didn’t even bother to do a basic Google search. What were we thinking?”

Zoos are advising visitors to pack enough food to last at least a day so there is enough time to successfully measure the general consensus before responding.

Visitors are also instructed to refrain from feeding the animals they end up trapped with.

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