Researchers discover best way to stop an argument

Scientists have discovered that one simple bodily function can resolve a heated argument.

The breakthrough occurred yesterday when Harvard scientist Dr. Passé D’Gassé ran the experiment during his family’s Thanksgiving dinner.

D’Gassé discovered that overwhelming his family’s olfactory and auditory senses had the immediate effect of ending several arguments throughout the night.

“It’s a forgotten fact that passing one’s gas used to be a staple of diplomacy, in fact, many a well-timed stinker have won entire arguments,” said political analyst Barry Manilow. “Sadly, the art fell out of public favor after Richard Nixon relied too heavily on the technique during the 1960 Presidential debates.”