District Judge grants gay corporate marriage in Alabama

Montgomery, AL Judge Samuel Adams issued a ruling today that will shake the foundation of marriage law in the state of Alabama: The judge honored the merger of two white Christian male property holders to make decisions concerning the property, direction, themes, and overall makeup of their company in a partnership.

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“The Constitution guarantees these very two Patriots the right to confer and associate with their property as they see fit, so long as they don’t produce any externalities that harm other people or violate the liberty of others, I see no reason in not allowing this union,” remarked Judge Adams. “Injustice somewhere is a threat to justice everywhere’ is what my father always tells me.”

The decision is facing backlash from local groups who believe that the next step will be that people will want to merge with 501(c)  organizations with other firms, such as merging Apple with the Boy Scouts of America, which will cause a perversion not only of Apple products, but of the Boy Scouts of America who oppose various types of mergers.

Judge Adams declined to comment on marriage between people. citing that people can just write some stuff up and private law will surely arbitrate it.

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