MONTREAL— Further allegations of corruption are plaguing FIFA, the world’s highest governing body in soccer. An anonymous whistleblower recently told Stubhill that the Canadian government took a bribe of $5 million from FIFA to place a successful bid on the most recent Women’s World Cup. “FIFA doesn’t put much effort into women’s soccer so it’s…
PORTLAND, MAINE— Horror writer Stephen King has filed a copyright lawsuit against Richard Matt and David Sweat, two criminals who recently gained notoriety for escaping a high-security prison in New York. The lawsuit claims that Matt and Sweat imposed upon the intellectual property of King when they used tools to dig a hole in their prison…
A St. Louis County grand jury declined to indict Officer Darren Wilson, 28, for totally not overreacting and firing six shots in an August confrontation that killed an unarmed, 18-year-old Michael Brown. Your ambiguously racist family members were already preparing their unrestrained gloating at press time. “I just don’t know why all them protesters don’t…
Republicans took control of the Senate during Tuesday’s mid-term elections, thus securing both chambers of Congress and fulfilling a dark, ancient prophecy. At midday, Congressional leadership gathered before the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool for the traditional mid-term sacrificial ceremony.
Republican leadership issued a statement this morning which revealed plans to obstruct the resignation of Attorney General Eric Holder. “This is just another example in a long list of where the current administration is in the wrong,” said House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio), “there are checks and balances, and we intend to make sure they…
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