NORTH POLE—Acting president Donald Trump recently issued a decree to all proles that we need to “Keep Christ in Christmas in July.”

“I am sick an tired of PC people saying ‘happy holidays in July’ to me!” said Trump. “In America we tell each other ‘merry Christmas in July’ and that’s that!”

The Pope even had some comments to add on the subject.

“Celebration of diversity is a wonderful thing, and holiday and Christmas blessings are exactly that – blessings,” said Francis. “However, Christians need to remember that there is a Christ in ‘Christmas in July’ and should act accordingly with their celebrations.”

Christmas in July is a sacred and decades-old tradition in Christendom.

Once a year children receive presents and eat candy canes and get real crunk on some cocktails that have cinnamon in them.

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