TRUMP TOWER—Former presumptive Republican presidential nominee and comedian Donald Trump announced plans to sacrifice daughter Tiffany Trump early today.

In response to the criticism given by the Khan family at the DNC that Trump has never sacrificed anything, Trump has responded that he had sacrificed plenty.

“I’ve sacrificed so much; I do my job and everything,” said Trump. “And I’m willing to sacrifice even more for America! I’ll stoop to their level – I will happily send my daughter Tiffany to the front lines of our armed forces. My family can sacrifice too!”

Later in a series of tweets, Trump went on to claim to have “more gold stars” than the Khan family.

“I received SO many gold stars from my teachers #BestStudent,” said Trump in one tweet. “The Khan family has one gold star and assume it’s a big deal. #Pathetic.”

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