Millions of Alabamians convened this morning to share stories and tears in remembrance of a great loss. Just twelve years ago today would have been the eighty-eighth birthday of Paul “Bear” Bryant, the late University of Alabama football coach and regional demigod. Legions of Alabama football faithful were tightly huddled at Bryant-Denny stadium in Tuscaloosa,…
By Ryan S. Penname Albany, GA— Terry Brockway, a biology teacher at the local high school, morphed into his final form in front of his 10th grade class during a heated debate this week. Many of the students are still dumbfounded by what they witnessed. “We were just trying to show him that Earth is…
A man claiming to be “Future Obama” held a press conference today.
The commoners of America rejoiced this week as a video of Christopher Kutcher, former attractive male underwear model turned attractive actor that generally portrays attractive bumbling morons, lecturing them on the importance of intelligence and hard work went viral. “His words were truly inspirational,” said one long-time farmhand from a rural community with few occupational…
Ontario, Canada— Reports from several concerned log cabin owners and their renters have been delivered to the Canadian government concerning random appearances of giant Nate Silver statues on their property. So far there have been over 75 life-size glass and marble statues that have no explanation of origin or ownership. “I was just minding my…
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