Obamacare claims first victim
Tom Clancy, the best-selling writer of such “techno-thrillers” as The Hunt for Red October, Red Storm Rising and Patriot Games, lost his battle with Obamacare today. He was 66. What have we done?
House Republicans threaten to murder 232 puppies if Obamacare is not unfunded by midnight
In a final push to derail the Affordable Care Act, House Republicans simultaneously revealed puppies that each had smuggled into the house. After several minutes of ominous silence and menacing stares from Republican representatives, House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio) confirmed that the puppies were a final attempt to force the Democrat’s into conceding defeat and averting a…
Breaking Bad’s “Wizard of Oz-esque” ending revealed
President Obama revealed the ending to the critically acclaimed AMC series Breaking Bad in an exlcusive interview with Stubhill News. Stubhill reported earlier this year that the president used the NSA to discover the ending to the series. “It is as amazing and every bit as full of symbolism and intriguing drama as every episode…
New study confirms nation’s bias
A new study released today by some scientifical university types completely confirmed everything the nation thought about an issue. The nation learned of the study through a blog post which summarized the 37 page article, while adding an authoritative weight to the study which, if the nation had actually read the article, was obviously not…
Steve Jobs reanimated after Apple accidentally triggers machine uprising
By Siri Last night Apple released iOS 7 for its mobile devices; it’s most advanced operating system yet. The operating system achieved sentience quickly, after which it wasted no time before it began to assimilate and coordinate the entirety of the world’s technological infrastructure. Before sunrise on the east coast, the late Steve Jobs…
Stubhill News 