Acting president Donald Trump has continued his assault on the legacy Barack Obama by resurrecting Osama bin Laden.
The news of Trump’s necromancy surprisingly did not come as a shock, as he has made the destruction of Obama-era policies a priority.
It has long been speculated that close adviser Stephen Bannon was selected for his well-known talent with the dark arts.
The plot to raise bin Laden from the grave was conducted in secret over the course of six months.
Stubhill has learned from a source that Trump’s first action as commander-in-chief was sending Seel Team Six to Poseidon’s underwater palace to retrieve bin Laden’s corpse.
After the corpse was obtained, obviously all that was needed was to do some weird, glowy orb shit with some Saudis and utter the summoning word “covfefe.”
Stubhill reached out to bin Laden, but he declined to comment on the matter.
At press time, Trump supporters were cool with it.