Trump buys new Star Wars film, will release when elected
Donald Trump has announced he now owns the distributions rights for the new Star Wars film.
“Hit The Road Jack” to replace Statue of Liberty poem
Today it was announced that lyrics to “Hit The Road Jack” would replace the culturally-outdated poem “The New Colossus.”
U.N. announces travel ban for white American males
Citing decades of mass shootings, the United Nations voted to halt the interstate travel of white American males today.
Alabama to refuse Syrian refugees, protect them from Alabamians
Alabama Governor Robert Bentley announced the state would refuse Syrian refugees due to safety concerns.
Frantic, knife-waving Carson says he doesn’t want to have to hurt Trump
GOP candidate Ben Carson said he “didn’t want to have to hurt” Donald Trump, but that he might have to.
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