District Judge grants gay corporate marriage in Alabama

Montgomery, AL— Judge Samuel Adams issued a ruling today that will shake the foundation of marriage law in the state of Alabama: The judge honored the merger of two white Christian male property holders to make decisions concerning the property, direction, themes, and overall makeup of their company in a partnership. “The Constitution guarantees these very…

House Republicans threaten to murder 232 puppies if Obamacare is not unfunded by midnight

In a final push to derail the Affordable Care Act, House Republicans simultaneously revealed puppies that each had smuggled into the house. After several minutes of ominous silence and menacing stares from Republican representatives, House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio) confirmed that the puppies were a final attempt to force the Democrat’s into conceding defeat and averting a…

9/11 serves as a grim reminder for Alabamians

Millions of Alabamians convened this morning to share stories and tears in remembrance of a great loss. Just twelve years ago today would have been the eighty-eighth birthday of Paul “Bear” Bryant, the late University of Alabama football coach and regional demigod. Legions of Alabama football faithful were tightly huddled at Bryant-Denny stadium in Tuscaloosa,…