Pope Francis will become the first female pope following gender reassignment surgery scheduled for next week. The announcement came weeks after Pope Francine encouraged abortion and proclaimed that all atheists go to heaven. Critics have widely panned her announcement as a desperate attempt to modernize the church. “This is all just for attention, there’s no…
A new study released today by some scientifical university types completely confirmed everything the nation thought about an issue. The nation learned of the study through a blog post which summarized the 37 page article, while adding an authoritative weight to the study which, if the nation had actually read the article, was obviously not…
A man claiming to be “Future Obama” held a press conference today.
The commoners of America rejoiced this week as a video of Christopher Kutcher, former attractive male underwear model turned attractive actor that generally portrays attractive bumbling morons, lecturing them on the importance of intelligence and hard work went viral. “His words were truly inspirational,” said one long-time farmhand from a rural community with few occupational…
Ontario, Canada— Reports from several concerned log cabin owners and their renters have been delivered to the Canadian government concerning random appearances of giant Nate Silver statues on their property. So far there have been over 75 life-size glass and marble statues that have no explanation of origin or ownership. “I was just minding my…
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