Apple announces Trump-sized iPhone

Trump Small Hands Site

SAN FRANCISCO—Apple CEO Tim Cook has revealed the prototype for the company’s newest iPhone model, the iPhone TE.

“This is the next step in innovation,” said Cook. “As our technology expands we are learning to accommodate to various types of consumers. This year, our target consumers are Donald Trump and toddlers.”

The crowd went silent with confusion.

“Let me clarify,” Cook continued. “Trump came to us with his billions of dollars and told us he loved the iPhone, but the screen was overwhelming to his tiny hands. We have made this prototype specifically for Trump, which has increased our profits this fiscal quarter substantially as he paid us a lot of money for it.”

Cook explained that Trump provided the upfront cost of creating the smaller iPhone, and now Apple can take the finished product and reach the untapped demographic of toddlers, which also happens to begin with a T, and whom also have hands so small they are virtually useless.

During a Trump rally somewhere in Arizona, Trump could be seen with the iPhone TE.

“Look,” shouted Trump. “There is a lot of talk about my hands, but you can see that I hold this phone and my hands don’t look so small.”

The crowd applauded sympathetically.

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