AshleyMadison.com to become dating site for newly divorced

TORONTO—Avid Life Media, the company that owns infidelity website AshleyMadison.com, announced today that the site would make a major shift from facilitating extramarital affairs to simply being a dating service for the newly divorced. Citing “changing demographics” and a new focus on a socially responsible business model, Ashley Madison spokesman Anthony Macri explained the change as being…

Scientists: known universe is an M. Night Shyamalan movie

GENEVA, SWITZERLAND—In a shocking discovery, scientists at the Large Hadron Collider discovered that the entire known universe is actually an M. Night Shyamalan film. “We’ve long suspected that our existence was an illusory construct or simulation ran by a superior intelligence,” said Nobel Prize-winning physicist Johan van Hammerstein. “The plot twist is that we didn’t know we were…