Ruth Bader Ginsburg, 84, dyes peacefully at home

RBGEASTER

Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg dyed easter eggs peacefully at her home today.

Despite being Jewish, the liberal Supreme Court justice said she had always found the egg decorating process to be “soothing.”

“Off the record, we Jews like celebrating the time we killed Jesus almost as much as Christians,” said Ginsburg before breaking out into laughter. “I’m just kidding. The Jews didn’t kill Christ, that’s just something anti-Semites believe.”

“I’m just kidding. The Jews didn’t kill Christ, that’s just something anti-Semites believe,” bellowed Ginberg before slapping me on the back.

After the laughter passed, Ginsburg’s face grew serious, she leaned in and whispered, “but seriously off the record, I just like to imagine the eggs are aborted chickens.”

Again, the 84-year-old justice broke out into laughter before continuing.

“Seriously, and this is really off the record this time, I’m doing this in the hopes that Trump will read a headline saying I’ve dyed and have an excitement-induced heart attack,” said a stone-faced Ginsburg while sliding a briefcase full of cash across the table. “Seriously. Off. The. Record.”

What a sense of humor on that one, Stubhill News doesn’t need her money to write that headline.

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