The government has approved plans to release 100 thousand genetically modified spiders to combat out-of-control mosquito populations in southern Florida.
“The new species is a cross between a hornet and a brown recluse,” said lead scientist Seth Brundle. “Hopefully, this first batch will be the first of many more to come.”
Brundle has cleverly named the new species “flyders” because “they dope af.”
Surprisingly, not everyone thinks these flyders are a good idea.
Pete Parker, a leading anti-GMO activist, said that scientists haven’t considered all the possible outcomes.
“Sure, it looks great on paper, but what happens if there are unforeseen consequences?” said Parker. “This is a great amount of power these scientists are wielding, and I don’t think they are prepared for that kind of responsibility. This is not what nature intended. We should only be breeding and releasing free-range, all-natural, and gluten-free spiders by the hundreds of thousands.”