Ben Bernanke starts aggressive anti-bullying campaign after years of libertarian scorn

Washington, D.C.— Ben Bernanke, chairman of the Federal Reserve, announced the launch of “Key to Acceptance,” or “K2A,” an organization with the goal he described as “encouraging young Keynesians and combating quantitative teasing.”

Bernanke has been harshly critiqued, especially among libertarians.

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“The last seven years have been a special Hell for me,” said Bernanke. “A Hell not all that dissimilar from my years in high school, during which I was the subjected to constant ridicule by knuckle dragging simpletons who lacked even the most rudimentary understanding of a complex economic system.”

“But this time Big Ben ain’t letting the haters get off so easy,” Bernanke added before dropping the microphone and sauntering off stage.

On the K2A website page there is a splash screen that is offering $20 million for the severed head of former Texas Congressman Ron Paul.

When reached for comment, Bernanke responded by cackling maniacally.

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